


And Then There Was Impressively-Choraeographed Sex

by Aris Merquoni (ArisTGD)



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Community: whoniverse1000, Multi, Orgy, Time Lord Physiology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-20
Updated: 2008-06-20
Packaged: 2017-10-06 20:05:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArisTGD/pseuds/Aris%20Merquoni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And then there was the time the TARDIS' internal time field collapsed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Then There Was Impressively-Choraeographed Sex

And then there was the time the TARDIS' internal time field collapsed.

After introductions and a few quick explanations for those who had never heard the word 'regeneration' before, most of the various humans, humanoids, and robots trundled off into the Doctor's study while Romana and the Doctor stayed on the bridge attempting to fix things. The study, it turned out, had liquor. The conversation wended its way through adventures, Daleks, strange alien vistas, Daleks, terrifying moments and Daleks before finally winding up at the Doctor's willie.

"I mean, has anyone actually seen it?" Tegan asked, flopped on the floor with half a glass of vodka in her hand.

"I thought I did, once," Jamie said, a trifle mournfully. "But it was an optical illusion."

"What, he never..." Ian blushed as Barbara shot him a look. "I mean, I would have thought, in front of someone. A man has to..."

"Piss," Ben offered when he trailed off. Polly hit him.

"I would have thought he'd have screwed at least one of you," Adam said a little disdainfully.

"He never seemed much interested in such activity," Leela said.

"Why is everyone looking at me?" Peri said a moment later.

Everyone stopped looking at Peri.

"Why is everyone looking at me?" Rose said. Beside her, Martha frowned slightly in surprise.

"I _tried_," Jack offered.

"Susan, did you have any boyfriends on Gallifrey?" Vicki asked.

Susan shrugged. "Actually, I was adopted."

"Brig?" Sarah Jane asked.

The Brigadier did a doubletake. "What?"

Liz, Mike, Jo, and Benton all looked at him sideways. "Well, we all assumed..." Sarah said.

"You all assumed _what?_"

"I didn't even get a full physical analysis," Harry complained.

"Here here," Grace muttered.

"One does have to wonder, though," Zoe said from the floor. Victoria, Dodo, and Katarina all nodded assent. Ace took another swig of her beer and fell backwards into Nyssa's lap.

Mel was passing out another round of drinks when Romana came back in. "He's still infuriating and impossible to work with," she said.

"Affirmative, mistress," K9 chirped from her heels.

Turlough looked up slightly hazily from poking at Kamelion's circuits with a pencil. "Hey, Romana," he asked. "You ever see the Doctor's cock?"

She raised an eyebrow. "I would have thought you--"

"Oh, come off it," Donna said. "Fess up."

"Well, I've seen medical texts of male Gallifreyan anatomy," Romana said thoughtfully. "But I'm a lesbian. And I never saw the Doctor's in particular."

Steve raised his hand. "Juuuuust in the interests of science," he slurred, "Might we have a look at yours to work it out from reverse-engineering?"

"Certainly not!" Romana said.

Two drinks later, she amended that to, "Oh, what the heck."

Twenty minutes later, the Doctor stepped into the lounge. "Afraid it's going to take a bit more fiddling, so..." he frowned. "K9, what are you doing to Adric?"

"There he is!" Jamie exclaimed, rising from the pile of naked Companions to point at the Doctor. "Get his pants off!"

"Oh. Dear."

And the Doctor pelted down the corridor, all his current and former Companions flopping and bouncing after him, leaving a forlorn Kamelion on the floor unable to move and quite missing Turlough's pencil. The end.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [And Then There Was More Impressively-Choraeographed Sex (the 'but *somebody* wasn't invited' remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/192765) by [JaneTurenne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneTurenne/pseuds/JaneTurenne)




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